31 January

My resolution
holds, one month later; next year
I'll say I won't eat.

30 January

Full of painkillers
And lacking sleep, I won't write
a haiku today.

29 January

It is surprising
Just how many things I do,
That need two good arms.

28 January

I've hurt my shoulder.
I've never thought about it, but,
it seems, it's crucial

27 January

Friday evening;
two days of fun stretch ahead,
unless you're working.

26 January

The overnight sponge
helps you make bread and is not
a contraceptive.

25 January

I typed lots today.
About half of it was trash.
And so was the rest.

24 January

A man on the tube
was rude to me. My comeback
would have been so good.

23 January

That play I woke for
was terrific; really funny.
James Corden's a star.

22 January

Bitter rivals fight
each other to a standstill.
I'm neutral. I win.

21 January

Saturday morning,
coffee, croissant, more coffee.
Papers, kip, then tea.

20 January

Asleep in a chair,
woken to go see a play.
This better be good.

19 January

A winter canal,
flat calm but holding still a
memory of ice.

18 January

A man I respect
tells me my haikus are wrong.
I think. I'll plough on.

17 January

Today's my birthday.
I'm one year nearer the grave.
I hope there'll be cake.

16 January Aliums (part two)

The answer revealed:
Do them in their skins. Shallots,
I mean. Not people.

15 January Aliums

Roasting shallots well
appears as simple a trick
as splitting atoms.

14 January Writer (part three)

An eight-year-old girl,
brought by her mother to hear
him, ate a fruit bun.

13 January Writer (part two)

A latecomer sat down
on the man in front's green scarf.
He fretted for hours.

12 January Writer (part one)

Very excited
to meet a famous writer.
Though, not of haikus.

11 January Argument (part two)

They're Colombian
(I think). She says England's
More than grey enough.

10 January Argument (part one)

Couple on the train
arguing. She won't have a
grey-painted bathroom.

9 January

Ten of us typing
loudly in the library.
No-one shushes us.

8 January

Done-with Christmas trees
lie on the pavement like a
horizontal wood.

7 January (On Twitter and politics)

Someone said something.
Others confect an anger.
Repeat until sick.

6 January

The haiku I write,
 recommended on Twitter.
 Praise and pressure mixed.

5 January

A walk in the park.
Then sofa and a blanket.
Life's not bad. Sometimes.

An unpopular defence of a woman with a disability

Like most people in this country I don’t know, and I have never met, Heather Mills.  As a result I have no real view on her character or morals, which seemingly puts me in a minority in the UK.

But, for the sake of this piece alone, let’s assume that she is as venal and self-obsessed as she is portrayed.

It seems unlikely, but let’s pretend she’s really, really awful. That still wouldn’t justify making jokes about her having lost a leg.

When someone makes a joke about Ms Mills having only one leg, or about her prosthesis (and we’ve all heard them), what they are doing is poking fun at a disabled woman because of her disability.

It’s laughing at a cripple, to be brutal about it.

I have had this argument before, in person, with a colleague who made such a joke. He didn’t care for my objection. His position was that he was making a joke about a horrible woman, a spoiled gold-digger; a deserving target for his ridicule.

See the disclaimer at the top of the piece. If Ms Mills is that awful, then yes, perhaps she does deserve ridicule, and vituperation.

But not for losing a leg.  To suffer such an injury in a car accident, or any other way, is worthy only of sympathy.  And I have a degree of admiration for her for overcoming such a setback, particularly in appearing on Dancing With The Stars on US TV.

But that’s not important. The point is, it’s not funny and it’s not right to make jokes about her disability. 

When Jeremy Clarkson called then PM Gordon Brown “a one-eyed Scottish idiot”, he was rightly criticized for using Brown’s disability against him. And he apologized.  When serial offender Jeremy Clarkson understands that making jokes about illness or disability is beyond the pale, then it can’t be that difficult to comprehend.

But to make it plainer. Let’s assume Heather Mills was not one-legged, but, say, black.  Same person, same character and (supposed) moral flaws. But with two legs and black.  Still deserving then of ridicule for venality, pomposity and all that. 

But would those jokes focus on her ethnicity? The colour of her skin, or her hair, or whatever other racist tropes there might be? Would we all gladly laugh along when some comic on a panel show makes a little crack about nasty, greedy Heather Mills and her love of watermelon?  No.

So please, if you want to make jokes about a woman you don’t know because you’ve heard she’s awful, then go ahead. But don’t poke fun at her because she’s disabled.

That just isn’t nice.

4 January

This early year drags.
I've a birthday coming soon.
I wish it was Spring.

3 January

An English park sign:
Do not feet the pelicans.
I never dreamt I could.

2 January

Sunshine. I'm indoors.
Got soaked outside yesterday.
Bloody typical.

Resolution

Ev'ry day this year
I'll try to write a haiku.
Wonder when I'll give up.